J.R. in Revision

But I was haunted by the idea that I remembered her wrong

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:28:58 -0500

Stanislaw Lem

"On the surface, I was calm: in secret, without really admitting it, I was waiting for something. Her return? How could I have been waiting for that? We all know that we are material creatures, subject to the laws of physiology and physics, and not even the power of all our feelings combined can defeat those laws. All we can do is detest them. The age-old faith of lovers and poets in the power of love, stronger than death, that finis vitae sed non amoris, is a lie, useless and not even funny. So must one be resigned to being a clock that measures the passage of time, now out of order, now repaired, and whose mechanism generates despair and love as soon as its maker sets it going?

Must I go on living here then, among the objects we both had touched, in the air she had breathed? In the name of what? In the hope of her return? I hoped for nothing. And yet I lived in expectation. Since she had gone, that was all that remained. I did not know what achievements, what mockery, even what tortures still awaited me. I knew nothing, and I persisted in the faith that the time of cruel miracles was not past."

— Stanislaw Lem

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Shout out to Mrs. Tiger Woods. Now THAT'S how you swing a golf club, Ma.

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:02:29 -0500

(HQ) Glee - Bust Your Windows

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Still moved. Quizas Quizas Quizas.

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:38:18 -0500

Wong Kar-Wai: 2046 Montage

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

_________.

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:47:23 -0500

Mind Control Cults

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

An Ode to Bad Romance. I'm a freak-bitch, baby.

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:13:45 -0500

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Brilliance.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I don't neva lie

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:18:24 -0400

lol Indeed it does seem that I *have* lost the ability to write.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

On Fear and Fearlessness

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:08:06 -0400

Again.

I said "Yes" to something undeniably life-changing, again. I also am clutching desperately to Fear... again.

I must state this in order to not only own up to my fears but to begin to release them. To embrace my Yes. Again.

(At the second line I paused then typed "clutching". Glancing at the screen, noticed I typed clutching with an uppercase, formal "C". As I backspaced to correct this, an inner voice chuckled sardonically at me. How my tendency to clutch has indeed been an upper case, titled, formal being of "C". A companion. Upper case "C" and upper case "F" of "fear" have been long companions. I pause again to try to gather together the words for my Dear John letter to this unwelcome state of residency.)

I talk a good game yet have never finished a proper one.

Much like this letter. To be revisited shortly. This is a non-negotiable.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Before today's discussion, let's first medidate on two readings...

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:59:07 -0400

   I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.
    Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.
    Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over year.

- Life of Pi by Yann Martel

When I was starting out in Chicago, doing improvisational theatre with Second City and other places, there was really only one rule I was taught about improv. That was “yes-and.” In this case, “yes-and” is a verb. To “yes-and.” I yes-and, you yes-and, he, she or it yes-ands. And yes-anding means that when you go onstage to improvise a scene with no script, you have no idea what’s going to happen, maybe with someone you’ve never met before.

To build a scene, you have to accept. To build anything onstage, you have to accept what the other improviser initiates on stage. They say you’re doctors—you’re doctors. And then, you add to that: We’re doctors and we’re trapped in an ice cave. That’s the “-and.” And then hopefully they “yes-and” you back.

You have to keep your eyes open when you do this. You have to be aware of what the other performer is offering you, so that you can agree and add to it. And through these agreements, you can improvise a scene or a one-act play. And because, by following each other’s lead, neither of you are really in control. It’s more of a mutual discovery than a solo adventure. What happens in a scene is often as much a surprise to you as it is to the audience.

Well, you are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what’s going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say yes. And if you’re lucky, you’ll find people who will say yes back.

Now, will saying yes get you in trouble at times? Will saying yes lead you to doing some foolish things? Yes it will. But don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.

Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.

- Stephen Colbert, Commencement Address, Knox College 2006

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

As is the way of things...

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:44:50 -0400

6. A mandarin fell in love with a courtesan. "I shall be yours," she told him, "when you have spent a hundred nights waiting for me, sitting on a stool, in my garden, beneath my window." But on the ninety-ninth night, the mandarin stood up, put his stool under his arm, and went away.

- A Lover's Discourse: Fragments by Roland Barthes

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I miss that stupid ape.

nobody@vox.com(JR in Revision) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:55:37 -0400

This is not about love. 'Cause I am not in love. In fact I can't stop falling out...

Fiona Apple not abot Love

Read and post comments | Send to a friend