12 posts tagged “current events”

(Double points for an IM within an IM)

Friend: Joanna: do you think we should drill off-shore, even though it could fuck things up environmentally, just to bring down the cost of the dollar, even when the problem really isn't that gas costs too much, but that we are a culture that over-consumes

  G: but honestly,,, u dont think the opec wont shit their pants if we start our own drilling.. i guarantee u the prices drop instantaneously

Friend: lmao
so you're saying risk the environment for a bluff?
no.

G: politics baby.

Friend: that's not politics

G: in the purest form

Friend: it really isn't
it's insane
the idea is insane.
I will tell you why

G: when u add leverage to public policy, u dont get more political than that

Friend: Opec knows -- because they've been in teh business forever -- that drilling now isn't going to do shit
we'd still need oil now
they are not going to drop prices today because we're drilling for oil that we might be able to use years from now
"oh snap, in 10 years, they might have their own shit! let's drop the prices." no
and furthermore, that is not what folks in washington are betting on, either

G: see i'd think they would break up due to the overwhelming threat... but thats a topic for another day

A question they forgot to ask last night: "Senator Obama, you were once seen on an elevator with a Jew. Why do you not love Jesus, Senator?"

I genuinely feel bad about his death. Granted, my knee jerk reaction when I, and everyone else, assumed it was suicide (not confirmed either way) I felt that was really selfish. But it could have been accidental. A perfect storm of combinations that led to an end he did not want. Maybe an experiment to get all Method and into his next role  that got away from him. Maybe an overlap in  personalities from one character to the next. We don't know.

I feel for his former fiance (and perhaps it was his drug problem that caused that split) and obviously for his two-year old daughter. To never even get to know him. And the Batman movie will end up being his Crow moment... the role that would have been a startling breakthrough for him and he died before he could fully be appreciated.

In general, Heath and Michelle seemed like genuine people. Not the self-centered Hollywood twats we are bombarded with everyday. And because they were genuine, they had their flaws and their own personal hurts. But it was their hurts and not something for our consumption. And there's something to be said for that.

They were ordinary people who lived ordinary lives. They lived in Brooklyn and tooled around the neighborhood just like any other Brooklynite, and everyone basically left them alone. They went off to work. They were actors. You may have recognized them but when you bumped into them on the street you just saw parents. A man and a woman and a little one. A daughter and her father.

So this is bad. Heartbreaking. A little girl will never know her father. The woman who loved him will never get the chance to just sit with him and watch their creation quietly smiling. Parents who lost their boy. A friend who lost their right hand and their most ready ear.

I'm very sorry. And very rarely are their genuine emotions extended to those who are considered celebrities merely because we happen to recognize them on the street. But I'm sorry. And I hope everyone leaves Michelle and Matilda alone.

Meanwhile Lohan, Britney, Paris and Winehouse keep chugging on. Let us see this as perspective and perhaps a motivation for us to appreciate and give our attentions to those more quiet in nature and who are indeed more like us than we realize... before it is too late.

I was too busy with insanities and beer to watch the Bush Speech last night. But from what I understand, it went much like this...

Okay, so there are signals and such that guys trying to get it on in a public bathroom give each other. Cool.

So you tap your foot, wave your hand on the wall between the stalls...

But the wall is sort of low. What are you supposed to do then? Squat and stick your penis down there? Lay on the floor and slide your face and open mouth into the next stall?

I don't get it. Please explain this to me.

Yes, this is a serious question.

The Year: 1982

Sophie's Choice

The young girl is ripped from her mother's arms at the trainyard by the Nazi, being taken to god knows where to have god knows what inflicted upon her. The mother is sobbbing in shame and regret. The girl's screams of Mommy! Mommy! echoing in the crowded station, growing more and more desperate as she is wrenched farther and farther away from her family, reaching out in vain for her mother...

The audience, sobbing in return. They mutter to themselves, Not fair. So not right. We are haunted by the look of madness in the mother's eye, the terror in the child's face and her torturous screams. Not fair. Mommy... mommy.

The Year: 2007

Paris Hilton

Already sobbing in court wearing something reminiscent of the Fall line of Mugatu's Derelicte, Paris Hilton hears her fate, Take your dumb, stupid, ignorant, spoiled ass back to jail and this time you're doing the entire 45 days. Her mother's reacts in shock and holds her face. Her daughter turns around and screams as the female baliff has to physically pull her to the door, It's not right! MOMMY! MOMMY! Her mother reaches helplessly back to her now screeching daughter. And she had indeed done everything in her power to keep her precious Paris out of jail. Used her money, her influence, the best lawyers she could find, yes, even gave the LA Sheriff himself a blowjob just to try to circumvent the system that her daughter willfully tried to ignore for about a year now. She feels so helpless. There must be something she could do. Something. Hell... Someone.

The audience inside the courtroom, outside in the halls, on the streets, watching from home and on the internets everywhere pump their fists in victory. Those hapless secretaries tied to their desks secretly following the details of the day's batshittery (pressing refresh refresh refresh going from TMZ to CNN to ONTD over and over and over) silently mouth a jubiliant YES and maybe a bold WOO HOO. People are dusting off the old cabbage patch move swinging their arms around like a stirring cauldron. They IM their friends. They text whomever. They're exhausted with all the drama and they feel slightly less disenfranchised just because they weren't born into money or think they're above the law.

Also, they all feel that Paris Hilton is indeed a Stupid Spoiled Whore and just needs to shut the fuck up and do her time and her being a bitch about this and not taking responsibility is her jumping the shark and she totally should have just done what she needed to do because then people would have totally respected that shit because look at what happened with Martha Stewart who just did her thing at the clink and came out more popular than ever so Paris totally just screwed herself by being a jackass.

But otherwise I have no strong feelings on the matter.

So basically, Good News/Bad News.

Good News: The end of racism!
Bad News: The beginning of Geneticism! Whoot!
And for you others who can only understand the world through Lord of the Rings metaphors: The Hobbits stay There and the Elves who resemble Iman stay Here. Now FIGHT!

My take is that through natural selection, those who aren't considered genetically attractive enough (if we're going to break up relationships by whether those coupling consider each other genetically acceptable to mate with) will not be reproducing anyway. (Enter Real Dolls. I mean *cough!*) So wouldn't those people be naturally weeded out of the genetic pool?

Wait- who are these mad genetic scientists looking ahead towards to the racial makeup of Humanity a hundred thousand years from now?! How are the cures for AIDS and the common cold coming along?

If it isn't one thing, it's another, eh?

*grainy footage of Fabolous in the Parking Lot outside of Justin's. He is approached, signified by a lengthening shadow over him. The other party outside the sights of the cam.*

Fabolous: Listen- I don't think you get-

Second Person: No, YOU Listen! It's F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S! Fab-You-Lus. THAT's how you pronounce it and THAT's how you spell it! Stop with the hipping and the hopping and the filth flarn flarn filth! Stop spreading ignorance and misspellings. Stop with the loose, half-naked women. And do something positive for the youth!

...Bitch.

*BLAM!*

*Then Bill Cosby is seen darting away up toward Sixth Avenue, hopping into an SUV driven by Oprah!*

The Black Pentaverate strikes again! (altogether now...) Nobody ever expects the Black Pentaverate!

Little colored babies are not Birkin Bags or the latest Nokia.

Okay, I'm hooking Ziggy up with her f'real.