14 posts tagged “leah”
So let's look into this special magic window as to our future....
Yes, this is how we roll.
So little by little I've been coming out of my weird little blogging vacay, haven't I? Well, don't think nothing's been going on with me. Of course there's been stuff going on. But I just never get around to it. But I'm shaking all of this off little by little.
Actually what spurred me to post was me reading something which basically helped articulate what i was unable to articulate regarding my recent bout of blogging block:
Which is basically what went through. And for many of us who have been doing this open air thing for a while, whenever you do go anywhere in this world, there is always that voice within you trying to construct what you're doing or thinking, no matter how mundane or trivial, into some sort of post. Mentally trying to synthesize every spoken or heard word that seemed intriguing into some semblance of a literary gem for third person consumption. ...and then you lose it. Or your attention span goes to something else. And your imagined post itinerary you've been saving up (I totally have to write about comic con or the billionth inane drunken argument or that hilarious email round me and the girls had about stenciling pictures into our pubic area as a girls' outing) suddenly disappears as we go through our day.When you first start blogging, everything in your life becomes fodder for ‘ooh, I might blog about that’. After a couple of years, and especially if you’re in a job where you can’t really write about your area of expertise, the dry spells appear. And life intervenes. For months after I moved to L.A. I could barely think of a thing to blog about. It reminded me of how after my university finals, I literally could not read a page of a book for a couple of months. Eventually that wore off. For the last month or more, there are absolutely all manner of things I think of blogging about. And I just can’t seem to write about any of them.
It's hilarious, isn't it? How life just keeps on moving even when we're not moving and sometimes it seems like we can't slow down enough to at least tag a bookmark onto it?
So much like going back into the ocean after years of being landlocked, let me just start off slowly... by sticking in a toe.
I will, of course, go more into length about matters. The whys, how comes and whatevers of the matter and why I decided at the time to go on hiatus. It was a dry spell of sorts. While I investigated another -long unused- facet of myself, I had to put a well-worn one on the shelf for a moment while I figured out how to make room for the two. Meaning, how do I integrate the old with the new. Growing pains and all.
But one thing I definitely have learned in the interim is this: Compromise and Compromising Yourself is not one and the same. And there is some sort of peace once one starts to figure out how it all balances out.
So here I am... with that toe... and I'm leaning it towards that center of the seesaw.
How have you guys been doing?
i mean (lol, the christmas tree just came... fed ex'ed)
Since last Friday, I was feeling a bit under the weather. It progressed to a really bad, phlegmy cough. I wasn't lethargic or anything, just really gross to be around for a moment. I even took yesterday off from work which never happens because I wasn't doing to well. Anyway...
So now I get a news alert... HOLY FUCK!
:28 PM Leah: lmao I'll ask her if we can get your casket tricked out like a caddy.
me: GHOST FLAMES ON MY CASKET, BITCH
me:10:07 AM i hate how certain things that are so perfect are so expensive
i want to take some crayons and draw rainbows vomiting rainbows
me: you should fake an illness or something
say your cat got molested by neighbor kids and you need donations to fix him
profit
Leah: lmao
I should set up a special pay pal
me: make sure the pay pal says "mr whiskers new lung fund" instead of "giant HD TV from the suckers fund"
you would be blowing up your own spot
me: Footnote A: PROFIT
me: aw... why me on blast?
Leah: lmao
I was just tryna give you credit
Today's link:
The Greatest Story Ever Told!
How Samuel Mother Fucking Jackson Mother Fucking Saved Mother Fucking Christmas Mother Fucker—A Children’s Story. By Kevin Brianchesko
Leah: you are like...the font of all shit crazy on the internets.
me:
But first, an aside...
10:10 AM Leah: So, I think I want to throw a cocktail party at my house on the 13th or the 20th. I think the 20th would be bestme: I agree on the 20th10:11 AM the 13th is carinda's bday and we still don't know what she's doingthis is going on the calendar nowexcellentLeah: I think I might do a "save the date" thingme: yes you certainly should10:12 AM Leah: and [redacted] leaves on the 22nd, so it all works out.me: you know, ever since you and denise made me start keeping a calendar, it's been really handy to have oneLeah: yay apartment/bon voyage [redacted]!I am a total mess without my calendarme: i mean holy shit the way things just fit togetherit's a god send really10:13 AM Leah: I used to be a forgetting/double-booking heifer before I started being religious about itme: i make no decisions without looking at the calendar10:14 AM and it's all in gmail so i can't make a date really without being in front of a computerthat's how i got caught out there with connie's cocktail party and the [second redacted] datecause she had mentioned it and he actually emailed meso he was on the calendar and she wasn'tshe threw off the protocols, yo10:15 AM Leah: lolthat's why I heart my PDAme: i would do a pda if it synched with my gmail calendari would do an iphone if i understood the calendar function on the macLeah: you know what I do?10:16 AM me: not that old school writing thingthat's so 20th centuryLeah: I don't use the gmail calendar, but I put it in my work calendar and email it to myself at home (which goes to the PDA) or vice versaso I invite my home emailor work email depending on where I amme: you just confused meLeah: lol, okayme: too many stepslolLeah: you know how you can invite folks to an event?me: oh yeah, i've done that once or twiceLeah: like, if I'm having a party, I send you an invitation10:17 AM Before I would only put it in my personal calendar/PDA and forget about it when I didn't see it on my work calendar10:18 AM so I started making sure I invited the other calendar so it was in both places.me: this is why you're organizing the pre-zombie exodus from NYC10:20 AM Leah: lol I'm so anal it's sad
So what have we learned here? That ever since I've been getting organized, I've been fitting in appointments into my calendar all nice and snug-like like Tetris.
Also we learn that it still continues... that no matter the conversation, I will always find a way to direct it to Zombies. In fact, just this morning on the train, there was a very hip, stylish young lady standing and reading the Zombie Survival Handbook. I wanted to gain her attention and give her a secret nod or subversive wink. Like a secret society of those who knows something the masses don't, we're out there. Those who are remain vigilant in their awareness of the danger, and who are silently preparing for the day when- Oh forget it. I'll survive the Battle of Yonkers, y'all won't. Think of me like the Sarah Conner of a Post-Z world. Ha-ha Joanna's all crazy and then a grey-skinned Zack is trying to munch on your wig piece and all the sudden it's all SAVE ME, JOANNA! SAVE ME! Feh.
But I digress.
So back to my calendar, I've been keeping myself really busy lately. At first it was intentional - meaning the summer was underway and far too much in the City to stay inside. But as it goes, you meet people, reconnect with people, and inexplicably everyone has birthdays and such in the Fall so that they're piling up on you. Oi! Just this Saturday alone there's my 50-year old Niece, a new friend and a good friend all celebrating... not to mention the impending festivities the night before.
This is all good because I will never be short of stories (although lately I haven't been sharing, have I? Hmm, must reverse this.) but it hits on the wallet and lately I haven't been keeping up physically like I used to. Why? Oh, a number of things. I've been cutting down to almost cold turkey on the cigarette usage. Granted, have my enablers... and the physical effects of the chemical withdrawals is quite amazing. My friend Andrew says that weaning yourself off of nicotine is far more difficult than drugs like heroin and such. Nicotine is a far more addictive substance. I believe him cause apart from the massive waves of fatigue then the need for munchies, my mood swings have been spectacular. Yes, I sound like quite the winner, eh? And then on top of this, I've been changing my eating habits to go along with Project Pink Lungs which includes a lot of yogurt, vegetables and such. Needless to say, I believe my body has been rejecting all of this healthy stuff, going into shock and such from all of this...
Dammit, I'm digressing again!
What's funny is that with all the "out" i've been doing, the best times I've had is when I'm at home lately. In fact, Ziggy mentioned with a smile after closing the door to another guest, "It's been a good week!" My mom has been visiting the house more often since she misses us and because of our respective schedules (including Ziggy's) we haven't been able to be downtown like we used to. And then I've been babysitting my 3-yr-old goddaughter, Kyla, more often lately which is always good. It's good to be around babies and kids because I like kids more than I do grownups. Kids like to have fun and have little to no shame in that. Adults tend to try to fight those tendencies. Also, I like looking at the world through a baby's eyes. They have the oddest imaginations and I love playing off of them. They also like dancing on the sidewalk while waiting for the light to turn. That's one of my favorite things to do. Adults look at you funny if you do that. I get funny looks a lot.
Anyways, kids are awesome... especially since I can enjoy them and then send them the heck home. I refuse to let my ovaries burn, and they probably will never burn again. See the thing is, people tend to talk frequently about wanting to have children badly. That itch only happens when I'm around a newborn or something because newborns are hardwired to trap people into loving them. No, seriously. I mean, in general, babies are extremely boring. They lie there, they spit up, crap and basically don't do much but writhe and scream for things. But people love them! Why? Because they have that smell and on the cuteness level, they're at the top of the pyramid above kittens and baby pandas. We're lulled into a sense of OMGZ ZO KWOOT that next thing you know you have your nose all in their neck sucking up that smell like it's the last bit of oxygen on Earth. Resist this, people. They do these little mind-control things just to make sure that there will be more of them in the future. I've been watching a toddler/pre-schooler. Soon you'll see that these little virtual cabbage patch kids will soon gain the ability to speak and then it's all out the window from there.
Oh! And Babies are like Tribbles! Tribbles! Just talking with Leah yesterday, it seems that there are tons of people around her who have just discovered they're...
Leah: Joanna
JOANNAme: uh ohLeah: my other best friend from college is pregnant.this heiferme: wowLeah: sent me an email that said "how are you"and at the end, there was an attachment of an ultra sound photo3:59 PM mind you, I've been feeling nauseated all dayme: so should i buy the gallon of ice cream and show up at your house or something?Leah: EMPATHYwhat the hell?!me: cause evidently all of your friends, including the universe, hates youLeah: exactlywhat the eff?!me: so i lied...i'm PRETTY lateLeah: I was telling Katherine that I was feeling sick and she asked if I was pregant and WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUTALKINGABOUT4:00 PM me: loljoking jokinglolololare you at least smiling a little bit?awi'm sorry!i was just playing!Leah: i am going to KEEL YOU UNTIL YOU DIEme: lolol
I think I'm like the one holdout. The last person on the block with rotary dial. The dude who just now discovered cable. A couple of years ago I was wondering WTF?! with everyone getting all married and such. Now it's the babies thing. In a couple of years it will be who is getting divorced and such. Trust me. Everyone's in such a rush to do things by a certain time. I find many people are just settling. Looking at their clock, figuring it's time to settle down and then finding someone who is 1) the least objectionable and 2) who's down, and then they get married. Oi. I can't live my life like that. I need the passion and the ache. The partner in crime, conspiratorial feeling. Basically like a best friend with a penis kind of thing. Anything less just isn't worth it. But that's me. I'm in no rush. Granted, having a son at 18 kind of stunts certain areas of growth and accelerates the rest, but I like the person I've grown into. Yes, yes... neurotic, flighty, stubborn, impetuous, ridiculous being that I am. I'm pretty cool with her. And my waffle skills have improved greatly.
Did it again!
So I think looking forward I'm just going to limit my outside activities to dates with close friends like drink get togethers and brunches and then just the various birthdays that will be coming. After I follow through on a couple prior commitments with the various gentlemen who have been vying for my attention, I'm just going to keep it simple of quiet. With the guys, since recently I've been on the other end of such a thing, I'm just going to sit down with them in person and let them know that I'm not interested in them romantically and not really in any headspace for a relationship. No confusions; no stringing of anyone along. No false hope. That's the right and honest thing to do and those who know me knows I respect an honest person above anything. I like my little life and I don't want to feel any pressure to fold anyone into it right now.
I've been planning on having a house party soon. Just nailing down a date. I guess it's going to be Halloween again. Guess that will be my tradition. I think I'll do it the weekend after with costume optional or something. Still working that out.
So this long assed, rambling post just to say that Things have been busy lately and I'm trying to slow it down some, but only by a little bit. I look forward to tooling about the house more, redecorating, adding more plants, teaching myself more recipes. I'm going to go to the gym more, watch more movies. I have movies from netflix i haven't returned in months. I'm such a dumb ass.
I've been keeping myself busy to keep myself feeling together. I've been distracted a lot lately and I'm getting over it. Moving on, so to speak. Going to get my groove back in Costa Rica soon. It's been a good year. A lot of traveling. A lot of good things have happened. I can't complain, really. It seems I've cultivated quite a happy little life here. Surrounded by some really good people. And I can't wait to block off more time with them, piece by piece, moment by moment. :)
(wow, longest disjointed ramble ever. dag)
Do you have a green thumb?
So Leah was sitting in my apartment. As I was tooling around in the kitchen to get her something to drink, I heard her gasp in shock.
"Joanna, please TELL me you didn't kill bamboo..."
I whipped my head around to look at what she was looking at. There it was. Yellow, bent over and pathetic. I didn't even remember to throw it away,
I chuckled sheepishly. "Yup, yup I did."
"How- HOW did you kill BAMBOO?!"
END SCENE
*bows*
